As an optimist, I really should have seen this post coming, especially as Spring arrives.
PSA to myself: I’m declining any and all future invites to trauma bonding and gossip parties for the rest of eternity.
I’m not denying that trauma happens, things never go wrong, and I’ll never feel the urge to vent—quite the opposite.
I’m intentionally choosing to participate in joy and play. To do consistent work and focus on the energy I want to encourage because I know I’m worth it. To dream with no limits so I can bust open the gates and welcome the people willing to go for it.
At the same time, I won’t dismiss that I’m entirely human.
I have emotions that stay knocking me upside the head out of nowhere until I’m still for five minutes and realize “Oh, I’ve been staying busy so I won’t have to deal with that.”
Old habits and mindset creep up and try to pull me back to a past version of me and I’m like, “Excuse?? I want no parts in this” and then have to wade into the waters of “How did we get back here?”
Misery, negativity, and succumbing to a fear you didn’t instill in yourself is the easiest path you could ever choose, and that’s what makes it dangerous.
I guess that’s the key to all of this.
Realizing you want something different and committing to changing in some way instead of just talking in circles.
Staying present enough to realize the ebbs and flows of emotions, that healing is not linear, and change is only as hard as we make it.
But, that last part is a different story for a different day.
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