Forgiveness is an act of consciousness.
This is a piece of my testimony. I felt called to get on video and share this shortly after witnessing Tanner Adell talk about her adoption story. I will review“Going Blonde” before Women’s History Month ends, but you can pre-save now before it drops tomorrow, 3/28.
Before you ask…No, my testimony isn’t about adoption. There’s just something you should know, or I guess, I want to share. You don’t need to know, but someone needs to hear or read this so they know abandonment issues can be healed.
Now, my biological father and my dad are not the same person.
My dad is my superhero.
It doesn’t mean I think he’s invincible. He’s the first man to unconditionally love me beyond words, who was not related to me by blood. This man was just pressure washing my car because he wanted to take care of me while I sat in the house. My mom was out there doing it too.
We get comments about how similar we are, but the comment that unsettles me is always, “You look just like your dad.”
To my knowledge, I do resemble my biological father. Not that I want to.
I mean, how would you feel about resembling the very person who made a conscious choice to walk away from you and your mom before you were even out in the world? The person who tried to follow you on Instagram that you promptly blocked expeditiously?
Yeah…I did block him, y’all. I didn’t even try to confirm if it was my biological father. I saw the name and went “NOPE.”
This is even after I had prayed up a storm over the Summer of 2024 on my knees. Speaking life over him and his family. I hope he has a better relationship with them. I remember uttering the words, “I forgive him,” cause I do.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean access. It means progress.
It means we both get to move forward without you pulling on or draining my energy, or vice versa. I can grieve you properly—the potential of what could have been—and heal.
I guess that’s the beauty of telling this part of my story.
I can honestly say I don’t have a single regret about cutting off his access, or my cutoff game being lethal. When I’m done, I’m done. Trust, you don’t have to worry about me circling back. I already burned the bridge upon my exit.
I can honestly say I am comfortable with the choices I made.
To forgive. To honor the art of detachment. To make God the center of my life. To strive for the best relationship with my parents and brother. To embrace that me healing doesn’t just impact my family but everyone I’m connected to and their families. To be a good steward of all I’m given, including my platforms.
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